Mama said there'd be days like this.

Things that have happened to me thus far today, with five hours to go:

• I woke up with my entire upper body feeling like I’d been in a car wreck the day before. I’d spent the prior day pushing soil, sand, and cement underneath my front porch — the soil that had been under it had eroded away due to my laziness in getting a retaining wall built.
• I went to a (yet another) job interview, this time for a firm which deals almost exclusively in Microsoft technologies. I sold myself pretty hard, but my résumé reads like an advertisement for open source. I did happen to run into a guy I knew from a previous job, who turned out to be the director of the department I was interviewing for. So that’s a plus.
• I got home and immediately left again to take my dog to the vet. He’d developed some sort of rash on Wednesday which we’d tried to treat (using my extensive medical background¹) but which, it turns out, needs actual medicine.
• The dog also got two shots, bringing the total of the visit to $123.36, which is just about $123.26 more than I have. (I still have two nickels to rub together.)
• The dog (who has been lethargic for the past two days due to his rash) and I (who am normally lethargic) head to FedExKinko’sOfAmericaCorp so that I can fax in some information to some people who just can’t wait another day for it. In doing so, I fumble around for about ten minutes with one of the Xerox CopyCenter machines (the exact model of which I’ve been using for the last two years at the job I was just “displaced” from) trying to figure out how to get it to send a fax. Just at the point where I was about to yell at the ‘associates’ for not paying any attention to me, I saw the actual fax machine sitting behind the copy stations. Go figure.
• I head out back to the van (yes, the van, the minivan, THE TRANSFORMATION IS COMPLETE), and the dog is sitting in the driver’s seat. I push him off and move to get into the van, and he jumps back up onto the seat. We stare at each other for a while. Eventually he jumps back down. I then put the key in the ignition, and ta-da! The van is dead.
• Then Michelle picked me up and we drove back to the house and it had burned down.

Ok, I made that last one up. It turns out the battery in the van had died; I had to give up both my nickels (and find 1083 more) to buy a new one. We’re still having it checked, because it’s sort of odd to have a battery die all of a sudden.

Other updates:

The job search is still lumbering along — I’ve got one solid offer and I’m sending résumés out as fast as I can avoid it. Thanks to all the people who sent me their best and to all of the people who gave me attention, even if they made fun of me while doing it. (Yes, I’m looking at you.)

The baby girl is having trouble getting toots out. She’s eating voraciously now, which is good because she should be about three days old right now — she was three weeks early, but in perfectly good shape. Her little big brother likes to gently stroke her hair, and he sometimes walks over to the bassinet and lays his head against hers, which is how he hugs people.

The god damned retaining wall is still not done. I was going to work on it when I got back from the vet, but that turned out to be deception.

The Diary-X Crap is still sitting in the den because I haven’t had time to arrange anything. Michelle took over, because she has initiative and I have procrastination.

The random crap is a chess game for OS X that I’ve been unhealthily working on since I lost my job. When I told some friends about it, they said “let me guess — it doesn’t work, but it looks really good.” Yes. Shut up.

That is all.

1. Gleaned entirely from watching ER, House, and Doogie Houser. Funny story: when Michelle and I were still in the hospital after Alyssa was born, I once referred to my “extensive medical knowledge” in front of a nurse. She turned to me and asked “Where are you going to med school?” I don’t say that in front of medical personnel anymore.